Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

A Massive Particle Blasted Through Earth and Scientists Think It Might Be The First Detection of Dark Matter - ZME Science

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Are you already having anal sex?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I see through liars

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Do individuals with borderline personality disorder have awareness of their actions or do they believe their behavior is normal?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What species of fish are horse mackerels?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

How safe is it to travel to Kashmir in 2024?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why do liberals think same-sex marriage is alright? The Bible makes it very clear that it's not alright to be gay, why can't liberals understand that?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have a bad reputation and need help. What should I do?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

When did bestiality first occur to you and how did it happen the first time? Was it a deliberate decision or it just happened and you allowed it?

I don’t cotton to rapists

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why are black people harassed more by police officers?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I actually pay taxes

Can you explain the difference between an ego, soul, mind, and consciousness?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

Person with measles visited Boston hotel, museum, airport, health officials warn - NBC Boston

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Whooping cough cases rise sharply in Washington and Oregon, health officials urge vaccination - KGW

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t